Archive for November, 2012

Keara Live in Action

The List’s Top Five Female Comedians

Remembering The Bawbag

A year on from Hurricane Bawbag, Keara looks back with fond memories of the day Scotland was overtaken by a mid-latitude storm and reacted by pissing itself laughing…

Firstly a bit of background: Hurricane Bawbag is the colloquial name given to an intense mid-latitude storm, officially named Friedhelm, which brought hurricane-force winds to Scotland at the beginning of December 2011.  On 8 December, winds reached up to 165 mph (265 km/h) at elevated areas, with sustained wind speeds of up to 80 mph (135 km/h) reported across populous areas. The winds uprooted trees and resulted in the closure of many roads, bridges, schools and businesses. Overall, the storm was the worst to affect Scotland in 10 years.

The official title of the cyclone is Friedhelm, as named by the Free University of Berlin, which is responsible for the naming of low-pressure systems affecting Europe. In Scotland, the storm was dubbed Hurricane Bawbag, the term “Bawbag” being a Scots word for “Scrotum”.

The name sparked a trending topic on Twitter, which became one of the top trending hashtags worldwide.

Rob Gibson, the Convener of the Scottish Parliamentary Environment Committee, was the first politician to use the term on national television. 

And it was absolutely hilarious!

HurricaneBawbag caused untold damage:

  • Donald lost his troosers
  • Many were woken well before their giro arrived
  • Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish costas were damaged.
  • Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed.
  • The cone fell off the head of the statue outside Glasgow’s Modern Art Gallery.
  • Thousands were confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Scotland
  • One resident, Pocahontis McGlinchy, a 17 year old mother-of-three said “Ah wiz like ‘Whit’s that? Ah canny hear ma choonz innat man Wee Beyonce came running into my bedroom pure howlin so she wiz. My youngest two, Brooklyn an Blackpool slept through it. I was still pure rattlin when I was watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning.”
  • Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal
  • The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Buckfast to the area to help the stricken masses.
  • Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos
  • Edinburgh spent all day rolling the wheely bins back to Glasgow
  • #BawBags trended No1 Worldwide on twitter – ranked two above the lamer #ScotStorm
  • Scots prayed for more hurricanes so they could create more comedy material
  • Scots – for the first time in history – were happy
  • Hurricane Bawbag was eventually downgraded to a Category4Nutsack.

Glasgow Comedy Festival 2013

My new show, Keara Murphy: Mice & Men, will debut at Glasgow Comedy Festival 2013 on 14th March… Tickets Here: http://glasgowcomedyfestival.com/shows/#!/shows/425

Keara Murphy: Mice & Men
Whilst preparing her annual Burns Supper speech, a wee mousie popped its head out from under Keara’s couch to ask, politely, if he could share her rice.  After a courteous conversation involving a hammer, Keara pondered the line in Robert Burns’, To A Mouse: “A daimen icker in a thrave’s a sma’ request”.  Should Keara grant the mousie’s request or lay down fifty shades of warfarin for the wee blighter?  If we continue to treat mice ‘humanely’ will they eventually take over the telly?  – It’s already happened in Leith!

And, what of men?  Are they not just gigantic mice?  After extensive on-the-job research, Keara thinks this may be so.  Therefore, like Rabbie Burns before her, Keara muses the parallels between the species and laments. 

“She’s Eddie Izzard with less make-up and more Glasgow” List”
“Exudes Glaswegian charm.” Scotsman
“Intelligent Burns banter” Friday Fix
“Passionate, enthusiastic and deeply knowledgeable about Robert Burns” SLTA

It’s gonna be good, it’s gonna be truthful, it’s gonna be funny, it’s gonna be beautiful, it’s gonna lose me friends and alienate people, it’s gonna be fun!

Come!

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