Ferdinand

Source: Ferdinand

Archie

Source: Archie

Remembering the Freedom of Choice

KEARA MURPHY

Seventeen years ago my Dad died. He was born on the 7th of November and died five days and sixty-six years later, on the 12th November. I, therefore, remember my Dad particularly in November. I wear the Poppy for my Dad.

He saw active service in Cyprus and Korea with The Highland Light Infantry. The H.L.I. were based at Maryhill Barracks in Glasgow – nicknamed ‘Hell’s Last Issue’ because of their reputation for toughness. Their symbol was the elephant: tough and strong but also intelligent and kind. Dad was also active in the Parachute Regiment as a young man and remained involved with 15 Para at Yorkhill all his life. As an older man he went from bar-to-bar all across Glasgow in hail, rain and snow delivering and collecting Poppy Boxes to raise money for the war disabled. He enjoyed a pint, it’s true, and he liked bars, but there were times he was really worn…

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Introducing Mistress MacKenzie

KEARA MURPHY

Good morning, Stalkers!

I know it’s 20.49 on a Sunday evening. But it’s Saturday morning in Strathbungle – a region which lies between the upper-lowland-mid-Highlands and the inner estuary of my head.

Mistress MacKenzie's Cottage

Mistress MacKenzie lives there in The Midgie View Guest Hoose – in the village of Glenclootie (Valley of The Devil) – where she runs a small croft and broadcasts school lessons for the children of the isolated communities from her garden shed studio. On no account should you ever let your children listen to these lessons unless you approve of Voodoo.

She is very lonely so is looking for new stalkers. And a new husband. On no account should you snog her as she has Gingivitis.

Drop her a wee tweep (Scots for Tweet) @MistressMacKenzie using the hash tag #AskMistress and she will knit you a cardigan in your favourite colours. On no account should you wear it as she uses a…

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Burns An’ A’ That! 2015

BURNS NIGHT 2015

BBC Radio Scotland
The Secret Sex Life of Robert Burns
January 25th at 10.30am

My brand new radio documentary about Robert Burns and his notorious reputation as a womanizer will air in on Burns’ Day 25th January 2015 on BBC Radio Scotland
at 10.30am. Presented by me and produced by Louise Yeoman with a range of other contributors including Professor Robert Crawford, author of The Bard; Chris Waddell from Burns Birthplace Museum; Historian, Dr Katie Barclay; and curator of The Georgian House, Dr Sheonagh Martin – along with readings and songs from some of Scotland’s best known actors.

Listen here: The Secret Sex Life of Robert Burns

Keara29

BURNS AN’ A’ THAT! FESTIVAL 2015
I will also be appearing at The Alloway Burns Festival
on Burns Day itself – with my one-woman Burns-inspired show:

Keara Murphy: Mice & Women

Directed by John Paul McGroarty.

Tickets here: Keara Murphy: Mice & Women

Why not make a night of it and book tickets for the legend that is Dougie MacLean who appears on the same stage directly following my show? Double Bill: Book for Keara’s comedy show followed by music from Dougie MacLean

2for1 offers available – so if you purchase a ticket for Dougie MacLean you get a ticket for my show for FREE! It’s a true story.

It sure is set to be a Burns Night to remember!

Burns Gie It Laldy

“Intelligent Burns banter”
Eric Roberts

Keara brings a warmth and enthusiasm with her,not to mention a deep knowledge and passion for Robert Burns
Graham Blaikie
Scottish Licence Trade Association

Burns Festival Alloway Keara and Dougie MacLean

Directed by John Paul McGroarty.

 

Introducing Mistress MacKenzie

Good morning, Stalkers!

I know it’s 20.49 on a Sunday evening. But it’s Saturday morning in Strathbungle – a region which lies between the upper-lowland-mid-Highlands and the inner estuary of my head.

Mistress MacKenzie's Cottage

Mistress MacKenzie lives there in The Midgie View Guest Hoose – in the village of Glenclootie (Valley of The Devil) – where she runs a small croft and broadcasts school lessons for the children of the isolated communities from her garden shed studio. On no account should you ever let your children listen to these lessons unless you approve of Hoodoo.

She is very lonely so is looking for new stalkers. And a new husband. On no account should you snog her as she has Gingivitis.

Drop her a wee tweep (Scots for Tweet) @MistressMacKenzie using the hash tag #AskMistress and she will knit you a cardigan in your favourite colours. On no account should you wear it as she uses a mix of freshly slaughtered lambs’ wool and 1960s recycled asbestos.

Here’s a picture of her with her flying squirrel, Archie. You can also ask Archie anything you like about life as a flying squirrel using the hash tag #AskArchie. No animals were harmed in the making of this fictional Squirrel.

Mistress MacKenzie and Archie

She also has an advice column in The Strathbungle Chronicle so you can send her a wee letter to Mistress MacKenzie, The Gairden Shed Studio, Glenclootie Fairm, Glenclootie Village, Strathbungle, Scotland, The Worild and she will respond in kind and help you get the best out of your Bannock and give you some #HandyHints as to where you can #HideYourHusbandsBody.

You can also listen to a flavour of her real proper wireless radio show here: Mistress MacKenzie on The Shark’s Mouth

Colin McCredie in the Art Gallery

Colin McCredie

And for the more adventurous, come and see her LIVE at The Tron Theatre, 63 Trongate, Glasgow, G1 5HB, on the 3rd December 2015 at 8.30pm.

This will be a LIVE READING of the BBC Radio Scotland show, Mistress MacKenzie and Friends, which was produced by Gus Beattie for The Comedy Unit.

Mistress Mac will be joined by very special guest star, Colin McCredie, from off of that there Taggart, River City, Shallow Grave and is also Tig’s Daddy, in CBeebies Wooly and Tig – AND all the male voices in the BBC Radio Scotland’s broadcast of Mistress MacKenzie and Friends.
Tickets will be available from The Tron Theatre Tickets For Live Reading

Thanking you!

Mistress Mac's Shed Outiside View

The Gairden Shed Studio

Advice for Young Comics in the Last Week of The Fringe

1. No you didn’t.

2. Never leave the house without a sandwich in your handbag.

3. If it cost one pound in ASDAs it shouldn’t still be in your fridge.

4. Seriously, dude! No. You. Didn’t!

5. Leave the dog alone.

retro-twat2

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