January and February are depressing enough, so please don’t be hard on yourself with mad resolutions about diets you cannot keep to. The only thing you will lose is your hard-earned cash and self-esteem. If diets worked, Rosemary Conly would be skint. Don’t do it; eat biscuits instead. And remember, the fatter you are the less bath water you need. So, saving money too! Kerching!
Instead of writing a list of things to quit and other austere measures, take something up that you’ve always fancied. Make a list of positive and fabulous things to do. Here’s mine:
DO MAGIC MUSHROOMS
DELETE ALL BAWBAGS
SHOUT MORE AT TELLY
DRINK MORE CHAMPAGNE
TAKE UP TRAMPOLINING
MAKE LOTS OF MONEY
HAVE A NICE TIME
These are realistic resolutions that I know I can keep.
Here’s another handy cash-saving tip: Take up chocolate in January, there are so many bargains out there. Thornton’s delivers half-price Alphabet Truffles straight to your door. If you want to pick a time to quit the sweet stuff – do it at Easter when they double the prices. http://www.thorntons.co.uk/
Keara’s handy cash-saving tip number three: If you must quit something in January, make it your gym membership. Open a savings account and put the money in there instead. By August you will have enough money for three weeks in the Maldives. The amount of exercise you do during your holiday will be equivalent – if not more than – the amount you would have done anyway on the one day a year you actually go.
Keara’s handy January cash saving tip number four: Turn off your gas-guzzling boiler and get under the duvet with a hot water bottle or a person you like. Spend the month of January watching the children’s Christmas films you were too busy to watch during Silly Season due to being THE responsible adult making the magic for everyone else. You will escape into a childhood fantasy thus foxing (even Fantastic Mr Foxing) yourself into believing you actually ARE a child and therefore those credit card bills that are dropping onto your ‘WE’RE NOT HOME’ mat are really not your responsibility. Wake up in February and say, Ah Narnia! The money you saved in electricity will pay off the credit cards. You’re welcome.
If you MUST make a resolution, resolve that next year you will not kill yourself in the run-up to the big day, the ideal dream that is sold to you is IMPOSSIBLE – and also quite dull. You are fabulous just the way you are.
Have a very Happy Year…