Posts tagged ‘Radio’

Introducing Mistress MacKenzie

Good morning, Stalkers!

I know it’s 20.49 on a Sunday evening. But it’s Saturday morning in Strathbungle – a region which lies between the upper-lowland-mid-Highlands and the inner estuary of my head.

Mistress MacKenzie's Cottage

Mistress MacKenzie lives there in The Midgie View Guest Hoose – in the village of Glenclootie (Valley of The Devil) – where she runs a small croft and broadcasts school lessons for the children of the isolated communities from her garden shed studio. On no account should you ever let your children listen to these lessons unless you approve of Hoodoo.

She is very lonely so is looking for new stalkers. And a new husband. On no account should you snog her as she has Gingivitis.

Drop her a wee tweep (Scots for Tweet) @MistressMacKenzie using the hash tag #AskMistress and she will knit you a cardigan in your favourite colours. On no account should you wear it as she uses a mix of freshly slaughtered lambs’ wool and 1960s recycled asbestos.

Here’s a picture of her with her flying squirrel, Archie. You can also ask Archie anything you like about life as a flying squirrel using the hash tag #AskArchie. No animals were harmed in the making of this fictional Squirrel.

Mistress MacKenzie and Archie

She also has an advice column in The Strathbungle Chronicle so you can send her a wee letter to Mistress MacKenzie, The Gairden Shed Studio, Glenclootie Fairm, Glenclootie Village, Strathbungle, Scotland, The Worild and she will respond in kind and help you get the best out of your Bannock and give you some #HandyHints as to where you can #HideYourHusbandsBody.

You can also listen to a flavour of her real proper wireless radio show here: Mistress MacKenzie on The Shark’s Mouth

Colin McCredie in the Art Gallery

Colin McCredie

And for the more adventurous, come and see her LIVE at The Tron Theatre, 63 Trongate, Glasgow, G1 5HB, on the 3rd December 2015 at 8.30pm.

This will be a LIVE READING of the BBC Radio Scotland show, Mistress MacKenzie and Friends, which was produced by Gus Beattie for The Comedy Unit.

Mistress Mac will be joined by very special guest star, Colin McCredie, from off of that there Taggart, River City, Shallow Grave and is also Tig’s Daddy, in CBeebies Wooly and Tig – AND all the male voices in the BBC Radio Scotland’s broadcast of Mistress MacKenzie and Friends.
Tickets will be available from The Tron Theatre Tickets For Live Reading

Thanking you!

Mistress Mac's Shed Outiside View

The Gairden Shed Studio

The Shark’s Mouth

All of my life, I’ve walked alone in search of a star. These are my stars, they’re the ones I’ve waited for… the ones I’ve waited for… lalalalalalala etc…

Proudly announcing the first in a four part mini-series of my brand new comedy monologues. They are my cute wee babies. I love them all! I LOVE them all!!! And I love you too.

I must say you’re looking really hot today. Have you been working out? And your hair! What’s going down with that? And, are they all your own teeth? They really are a marvellous fit. In fact, you are positively glowing! Are you in love? Or pregnant? Or about to do a crime? Or are you just a real smashing natural beaut?

Anyway, you are beautiful. I love you! I really do. And I hope you love me too. Awkward if not, but I’ll take it on the chin. But, we all love babies, don’t we? Wee cute babies. Diddums!! Well, these are my babies. I love them all and I hope you love them too.

Today, my first incarnation, Grainne O’Grady, introduces the theme for the series: single women looking for love. There is also a lovely cameo appearance by Mammy O’Grady (voice based on my beautiful dead Granny, who, had she lived, would be 120 years old TODAY!!!). Thank you, Granny, for your voice, which lives on inside me.

RIP Granny. Long live The Shark’s Mouth

Tune in here at 2.55pm (duration: 5mins)
The Shark’s Mouth

Thank you Gus Beattie, everyone at The Comedy Unit, everyone at The Culture Studio (especially Zoe & Amy), Janice Forsyth, BBC Radio Scotland. Oh, and, em Jeff Zycinski… and my Mammy and my Granny (two of the funniest women I know).

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